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The Night Before Christmas

 

'Twas the night before Christmas

Two guests in our house

Were playing some bridge

With me and my spouse.

 

"Please tell me," she shouted

"Why didn't you double?

 ‘Twas plain from the start

We had them in trouble."

 

"’Tis futile, my Dear -

I am taking no stand.

So please stop your nagging

Let's play the next hand."

 

"Remember next time"

She said with a frown

"To double a contract

That's sure to go down."

  

So I picked up my cards

In a downtrodden state.

Then I opened one Spade

and awaited my fate.

 

The guy sitting South

Was like many I've known.

He bid and played

In a world all his own.

 

"Two Diamonds," he countered

With scarcely a care.

The Ace in his hand

Gave him courage to spare.

 

My wife, smiling faintly

And tossing her head,

Leaned over the table,

"Double," she said.

 

And North for some reason

I cannot determine

Bid two Hearts,

like preaching a sermon.

I grinned as I doubled

Enjoying the fun,

And turned round to South

To see where he would run.

 

But South, undistressed

Not at loss for a word

came forth with "two Spades" -

Did I hear what I heard?

 

The other two passed

And in sheer disbelief

I said "Double, my friend,

That'll bring you to grief."

 

South passed with a nod

His composure serene.

My wife with a flourish

Led out the Heart Queen.

 

I sat there and chuckled

Inside o'er their fix.

But South very calmly

Ran off his eight tricks.

 

He ruffed the first Heart

In his hand right away.

And then trumped a Club

On the very next play.

 

He crossruffed the hand

At a breathtaking pace,

'Til I was left holding

Five Spades to the Ace.

 

In anguish my wife cried

"Your mind's growing old.

You should see that Six No Trump

for us is ice-cold!"

 

By doubling this time

I'd committed a sin.

It just goes to prove

That you never can win